Earlier in the trip, we thought it was odd that our van driver asked us what we thought about polygamy out of the blue. So, this weekend when the topic came up again, he was eager to get dialogue rolling. We were invited to a friend of a friend's home for dinner, and the hostess invited her pastor who happened to be a product of a polygamous family. We found ourselves very intrigued by the personal account of this gentleman.
It was explained to us that when a man marries a woman, he is to declare whether or not he intends to engage in polygamy with subsequent marriages. However, there are instances where a man intends to be monogamous, but later decides to add to his lineage. (Smh). In those types of situations, the first wife is often devastated. The pastor stated that some women seek with doctors to put a hex on their successors, so that they won't have to share their mate. On the contrary, there are men who are too much for the present wife to handle, so she in turn recruits other women to satisfy his "energy" and keep him out of her hair.
Polygamous marriages are highly acceptable in Kenya, and in many other African cultures. Despite the social acceptance, we were curious as to how the children of such unions relate to these dynamics. Our van driver said that he knew of a man that had 200 children!!! Whoa! He also said that the children of polygamous families typically accept the circumstances and have much respect for their fathers because they are still in their lives. Unfortunately, the pastor's story did not mirror this scenario. He said that once his father engaged a second wife, his mother and all of his siblings were abandoned. Needless to say, this pastor said he will remain a one-wife-man. On the flip side, our van driver is on wife number one [at the present time], but from the sparkle in his eye as he discussed polygamy, she may be on borrowed time. What out my sister!!
Isn't it interesting how this world can be so small, yet so different...even within the same culture?
Written by:
Adaire Brown
Your blog has been so entertaining! I think some men need polygamy in their lives!! Some are like dogs, and some are like wolves that mate for life. But it is a trip how culture can change perspective so drastically. So many things we find appalling is just regular there and vice versa. Like the roaches hahaha! We were watching this documentary about the Lost Boys from Sudan and the girls have part was when the guy was like "I hear in America you can only have one wife, this is no good.." the whole time doing a little tsk,tsk,tsk tongue click like smh LOLOL.
ReplyDeleteAnd, SMH @ the women who recruit other women LOL. I've heard American older women say stuff like that. Like shoot, makes my job easier! Not me though, I am not the one!!
This is a mess! LOL!
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